The effects of praise aren't always good. What can we do to make sure praise helps, and doesn't hurt?
Criticism and praise are two powerful forms of feedback we have to learn to live with. If we learn to respond in the right way to the two, they will develop us. If we respond in the wrong way, they can destroy us. Learn to respond the right way.
Rather than suppress this misunderstood emotion, we need to understand its essential evolutionary role in motivating us to action.
Understanding why positive evaluations can feel bad.
Parenting these days is patrolled by the language police. Sometimes it seems like the worst thing you could ever say to a kid is “Good job!” or the dreaded, “Good girl!” Widely popularized psychological research warns about the “inverse power of praise” and the importance of “unconditional parenting.” What are these researchers really getting at? Are the particular words we use to talk to our kids so important? And how do we convey positive feelings without negative consequences?
That's why I'm such a big believer in affirmations … You have to train your mind to get rid of all that toxic thinking that we've been accustomed to.
Why instilling admiration for hard work rather than raw talent is the key to fostering a well-adjusted mind.
Telling your kids that they're superfabulous encourages narcissistic thinking, researchers say. And that doesn't bode well for their future happiness. Better to recognize effort and say, "I love you."
When your brain gets a reward (and your brain treats praise from others as a reward), what it learns is to do that action again.
But, repetition builds habits, not growth.