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YONKERS, NY—Two years into his employment at the fast food eatery, Subway employee Gabe Winthrop reported Thursday that he is still shaken by the earsplitting shrieks made by the sandwiches every time he slices them in two. “I’m pretty much a veteran around here at this point, but I’ll tell you, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to hearing somebody’s lunch emit a piercing screech the second you begin to cut into it,” Winthrop said of the hundreds of agonized, high-pitched whines…

Complete with a bold redesign and Apple CarPlay™ integration, the new Honda Civic Sport really is fun all ways. Plus, it comes with standard Honda Sensing,® ...

Who knew Santa was so millennial? Check out all the ways we’re helping in the North Pole this Happy Honda Days season!

Former New York mayor Michael Bloomberg will give $1.8 billion to his alma mater to create need-blind admissions in perpetuity. What do you think?

ITHACA, NY—In a new study released Tuesday by Cornell University, researchers revealed that the average adult male thinks of Santa Claus once every seven seconds. “Based on our extensive data, we can confirm that if you’re having a conversation with a man, whether he is young or old, chances are good that he is preoccupied by thoughts of Santa’s thick, sumptuous beard and plump, rosy cheeks,” said lead researcher Dr. Anya Voltan, whose survey of 150 men between the ages of 18 and…

Governor Jerry Brown signed a bill putting California on track for a goal of 100 percent clean energy and carbon neutrality by 2045. What do you think?

WASHINGTON—Introducing an updated and expanded lineup for the much-anticipated annual event, single aunts across America released their official Thanksgiving 2018 boyfriend roster, family sources confirmed Tuesday. “We’re excited to show off one of the strongest rookie classes in years, as all sorts of up-and-coming boyfriends have burst suddenly onto the scene this year, and we’re really excited to spring them on you at Thanksgiving dinner,” said…

WASHINGTON—Saying the measure would provide a substantial boon to police departments nationwide, members of the House Republican caucus introduced a bill Tuesday containing open-ended language that would criminalize whatever it is black people are up to right now. “This is a long-overdue piece of legislation that will help defend our country against the scourge of black people being in places and doing things,” said Rep. Steve…

WASHINGTON—According to a report published this week by the U.S. Department of Education, an increasing number of universities now offer dick-around abroad programs that give students the chance to hang out and do jack shit in another country.

What advice would you give to single men or women who want to be in a relationship, and how can we keep our focus on Jesus? Walnut Notes Archive: waln...

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One way to maintain a healthy diet is to eat clean during the week so you have a little more room for a weekend splurge. Here are our tips and tricks to cook with seafood for healthy weeknight meals.

ISLAND HARBOR, ANGUILLA—In an effort to cut down on the crippling costs of their $190 million roster, the New York Yankees avoided Major League Baseball’s luxury tax this week by moving the franchise to an offshore location. “The Yankees have called New York home for 115 years, but unfortunately, moving the staff and stadium to this Caribbean island is the only way to shield ourselves from…

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On the big screen, the DC Universe has swum through some troubled waters, even with hits like WONDER WOMAN and SUICIDE SQUAD. Fortunately, it looks like AQUAMAN, opening December 14, could catch a...

This fall, Robin Hood returns to the big screen in a new take on the classic tale of the heroic thief and his band of merry men. ROBIN HOOD stars Taron Egerton as the outlaw who opposes the tyranny...

Mark 10:46-52 | November 18, 2018 | Hanley Liu Personal Application Questions: 1) In what sense are we all blind until Jesus heals us? 2) When does our visio...

SEATTLE – On Friday, Dubs took a final lap on campus at Montlake before he retires as the live mascot for the University of Washington. “He doesn’t know he’s retiring,” said Kelly Campbell who owns Dubs, along with Jennifer McBride. “He thinks going into Husky Stadium is all about him, right? I mean the 70,000 fans are cheering for him,” said Campbell. The 75-pound Alaskan Malamute became the 13th live mascot in 2009. “He’s a dog of the people. He was made for…

Hot marketing tips to light up your holiday season and boost your online business’ profitability over the next several weeks.